Wednesday, May 12, 2004


My insomnia and lack of motivation to work out are back. However, I did get to finish doing laundry, which is always a good thing. I also finished Indiana Jones and the Infernal Machine PC game, a game I bought and shelved back in 2000. The ending was anti-climactic and unsatisfying. Most irritating is the fact that Indy and his nemeses walk off side by side into the sunset like old friends despite them trying to kill one another throughout the game. It did not make any sense.

I found my write-up for the UPMBB class of 1999 yearbook. Since the yearbook project seems to have been interred and forgotten, allow me to present it here in all its glorious conceit and egotism (edited for grammar, arithmetic, and form):

Sixteen years of conscious living past:
who am I?
... really?
how can I be known?
am I body, thought, action?
and am I only that?

am I what others say?
thus can escape from myself be made by
asking another to
write something clever and witty?
or can I be flattered with
achievement and accolade?
or humbled by
disappointment and failure?
am I all these?
am I more?
and am I only that?

... caught myself one night,
fringing dream,
mind adrift with random thoughts of
philosophy, religion,
sex, love, death
... of
wishes and dreams,
grievances and what ifs
... and I found:
these are the most honest of thoughts,
even in fantasy,
for these define
who I am
(who am I?)
and who I aspire to be
... revelation arose about
this integral part of myself,
and where through the words on this page I have
attempted to express:
learn all you can.

That last "who am I?" in parenthesis I just added. I thought it might make a nice ironic touch, especially since I still don't know the answer to that question (who does?).

Along with this write-up I also included a nice poem from "spider". I don't have a copy of it in my hard drive but hopefully I kept a printout of it in my files. I'll dig it out one of these days.

Peng: How's spider doing? Does he/she/it still write poems?

now playing: Remember Shakti - Saturday Night in Bombay


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