Friday, August 27, 2004

n/a

This is sad. Below is something I wrote last August 1:

Wasn't sure if I was gonna post this but here it is anyway. I wrote this depressing blurb several days ago:

I've never felt so alone in my life -- which is strange and annoying because I actually much prefer being alone. I think this is because I am surrounded by many people, none of whom really understand me, and none of whom I can just come up to and talk to about anything, anytime I felt like it. Things were so much simpler when I lived alone.
Though I feel much better now, thanks mostly to my best buddy Chris, who is by far the only person who really understands me and whom I can talk to about anything, the sentiment still remains. I think it may be because I have high expectations of people, which invariably leads to disappointment when these expectations are not met.

Anwyay, don't read too much into the jeremiad above. July has been an emotional roller-coaster.
Fucking depressing wasn't it? Well, August wasn't any better: 2 cancelled lunches and many unanswered phone calls to a girl I met a few weeks ago. It sounds petty but it really gets me down. Keeping busy usually helps. At first I had the GRE review. Now, I try to exhaust myself with late nights at work. But at 3:20 am, when I'm wide awake and staring at the monitor, the loneliness somehow creeps back in. One thing did change - there is someone else whom I can talk to and who seems to understand me. Thanks, Peng, for the talk.

And, nope, I have not started reviewing for the GRE Biochem test yet.

now playing: Tatsuya Yoshida - A Million Years

7 Comments:

Blogger Chaos said...

I kinda know how you feel. It's kinda the same for me really. There isn't really anyone I can talk to when I feel down as fuck.

But I guess the way to go is to move on because life is too short. Cheer up dude. To the great sounds of DA ZEUHL! HAMATAI!

7:50 AM  
Blogger btflpenguin said...

no problem. glad to help. and glad to be among the "elite" group of people you feel you can talk to.

loneliness IS hard to deal with. but that's what friends are for.

btw, looks like you have a new friend ;) hi chaos.

11:00 AM  
Blogger zeuhlyle said...

Hey, thanks for the sentiment. You're right, there's nothing like blasting MDK on max volume to lift one's spirits. Iosz! Iosz! Iosz! Doweri.

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